


the decision

by orphan_account



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Kissing, M/M, True Love, sign of a light at the end of a tunnel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-28
Packaged: 2019-03-10 15:25:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13504350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: On Valentine’s day Aaron has a big decision to make, Robert tries to be a friend.





	the decision

**Author's Note:**

> Some aaron/alex smut at the start, not gratuitous I hope, but it is a robron fic  
> I obviously don’t think this is going to happen, lol, but since I’ve been suffering with mega writer’s block, I decided to run with something new, in the hope that it would help.

He’d said _I love you_ for the first time the other day, quietly, with a sweet smile. Not as a weapon, not as a cure, either.

He’d taken up a cup of tea on a tray, and put it by the bed before climbing back in between the sheets, and that’s when he’d said it, with the light slanting in through the shutters, and birds singing.

They’d just had sex. They were getting better at it as they became more familiar with each other’s bodies, sucking in breath, lips locked, with hands moving fast on slick hard dicks. Aaron falling backwards, a pillow tugged by the corners under his hips, knees raised.

There was that moment then, waiting, where he was training his mind not to meander, keeping his wet cock hot with quick tugs around the tip. Then the easing in of penetration. And the climb - this time had been the highest, so that after they’d both chuckled with their eyes closed when they kissed. And Alex had lain back with his elbow cocked under his head, his scent starting to feel like it belonged in the room after all.

He’d said _me too_ back. Not a challenge, not a confession. But because in that moment he’d felt it, because it was normal, because the past was the past, because they were two princes and this was a fairytale.

 

‘So, singles night for Valentines, singletons celebrating being single.’

‘Doesn’t matter how often you say it, still means the same thing, you know; you’ve been dumped, abandoned, or,’ he looked away, sucking his lower lip, ‘betrayed someone.’

Vic's eyes darkened briefly, then she shook her shoulders, shaking off whatever cloud had crossed her mind.

‘Coming?’

‘Err, no!’ Robert pressed his cheek against his son’s sleeping head on his shoulder. ‘I’ve got the only Valentine I need right here.’

‘So, you’re sacking off a good laugh for a night in with nappies and Baby tv?’ She tilted her head. ‘It would do you good, though, you know.’

‘I appreciate the thought, but, no, really, no.’

But later, coming back from work, she caught him alone, the only light in the room coming from the flickering TV screen and the blue winking of the baby monitor, the crack of metal twisting on glass as he unscrewed the lid from a whiskey bottle.

‘What happened?’

‘I bumped into Alex.’

‘Oh?’

‘He told me that he’s going to propose.’

‘Blimey! To Aaron?’

She floundered for words.

‘It’s too soon, isn’t it?’

‘He said, why wait when you’ve met the right person - that Aaron was the bloke of his dreams, he said.’

‘He won’t say yes, though. Not Aaron. He’ll never say yes.’

‘Why not? Alex makes him happy. The fairytale ending, he deserves it.’

Victoria watched as he turned up the tumbler and drank the whiskey down in one.

‘Aaron’s not your responsibility anymore. Happy, not happy, it’s down to Aaron, not you. It’s good you can move on and be friends now, but, don’t interfere, Rob, yeah?’

‘I know. I do know how to be a friend.’

‘Hmmm.’

She watched his eyes until he looked back at her.

‘So, tell me about this singles night again?’

 

The restaurant was unexpectedly rowdy with party tables, as well as tables for couples. They’d gone all out on the romance front, candles, scattered sparkling hearts in pink, red and gold, and rose bud patterns on raspberry colored wine glasses.

They were shown to a table in a quiet alcove. Alex looked around when they sat.

‘I hope you like it, the food’s supposed to be quite good, at least.’

Aaron picked up a menu and opened it.

‘You’ll know what it all means from living in France.’

‘Err, it depends, if they’re serving Le Big Mac, then maybe.’  Aaron joked, rubbing his eyebrow as he read down the food list.

‘Oh god, we could do that if you prefer, just go, and grab a takeaway?’

‘No, it’s, err, Pulp Fiction?’ He smiled softly at Alex’s confused face. ‘Alex! It’s fine, really. It’s actually really nice.’

Alex reached his fingertips forwards, a brief caress against Aaron’s wrist.

‘Great! I’ll go and order us wine, a beer I mean, from the bar. It’s crowded so we may have quite a wait for some service.’

 

He’d only agreed to come because it wasn’t near the village, and now the worst possible thing had happened – _they_ were here.

Aaron in a glowing white shirt, stretched snug across his chest, his suit jacket thrown over the back of his chair. His eyes were shining in the candle light as he watched Alex over the glistening rim of a beer glass.

He should leave.

After all, there were times when you wouldn’t want even the closest of friends around.

He’d arrived late, dropping Seb off with Diane and Doug, Rebecca still not well enough, keeping the taxi driver waiting too long when Seb got grizzly not wanting to part from him.

Victoria shifted her bag off the chair that she’d saved beside her, and he’d sat down, reaching for the bottle of cheap red in the middle of the table, frowning at the label before filling the empty glass in front of him.

‘Where were you? Listen, don’t go off on one but...’

He’d followed the direction of her eyes.

He’d thought he was alright, but half the wine had gone down the front of his shirt.

It was a sign. He should definitely leave.

Instead he made his way to the bathroom to wipe himself down with cold water.

 

‘Shall we take a picture for Liv?’ Alex smiled, picking up his phone, angling it to capture both their faces.

Aaron smiled for Liv. No, he smiled because he was having a good evening. It was romantic, and nice, Alex looking at him attentively with warm eyes, a permanent smile fixed on his face, for once not sleepy, or rushing off for an eighteen-hour shift.

Or was it a permanent smile? When Aaron looked closer there was a frown etched on Alex’s forehead, some dampness around his hair line.

‘What’s up? You OK?’ he asked.

Alex nodded too fast.

‘You’re sure?’ 

And then a groan, and Alex bending sideways, reaching in his pocket.

Next thing he’d placed a small red velvet box on the table between them. He rolled his eyes.

‘Look, I know this is soon, we really haven’t been together for so long, but I know how I feel. And frankly, you’re perfect.’

He was blushing, but looking at Aaron with such a tender expression.

‘So, would you do me the honor of being my husband? Aaron, will you marry me?’

He opened the box, and there, inside it, was a gold ring, simple and stylish.

 _It was perfect_. The perfect proposal. It was normal, a cliché, even. But Aaron liked clichés, wanted normal. Alex knew him well enough by now to know he would have been uncomfortable with any going down on bended knee in public stuff.  It was just, well, Valentine’s day, the two of them, and a romantic meal in a fancy, but not too fancy restaurant.

But it was mind blowing, too.

‘Is this a joke?’

Alex, suddenly confused.

‘Why would I joke about something like this?’

And Aaron grimaced, recognizing the pattern, the voices in his head from the old Aaron - _why would someone like you want someone like me?_ He’d been over this with his therapist. Every single boyfriend he’d ever had. He didn’t need those voices anymore.

‘Course, no, sorry, it’s just a huge shock.’

Alex was still looking at him, sitting forwards, playing nervously with his hands.

‘Listen, I need a minute, you know?’ Aaron said.

He stood up.

 

He walked unsteadily, feeling like he was riding rapids, waiting for a lifeline. For some reason he thought about Wales, kayaking, dropping his phone, Robert’s hand sweeping through the water from behind, snatching it up in a cascade of droplets.

Then, when he pushed opened the bathroom door, there he was, like he’d magicked him out of his head.

He was standing with his back to him in front of the porcelain washbasin, above it a red rose on the window ledge, the petals dropping off one by one.

‘What are you doing here, Robert? What? Are you stalking us or something?’

Robert wheeled around, him bum still against the basin.

‘No!’ His voice sounded injured. ‘It’s a singles thing, Vic, she asked me. I had no idea you’d be here!’

‘But you were waiting for me, _in here_?’

‘No! I was, err, never mind. I’ll go.’

He set off past him, his hand on the door back into the restaurant, when Aaron’s voice stopped him.

‘He just asked me to _marry_ him!’

Robert swallowed, there it was then, it was happening. They’d already put that necessary distance between them, but _this_? This was like a sink hole, boom, opening up, both of them gaping at each other across the divide.

The silence stretched on for too long.

‘Good for him,’ Robert mustered. He wondered if he sounded petty, that maybe a friend shouldn’t say something like that; he tried again, ‘He’s a good bloke.’

He thought about Vic saying don’t interfere; he shouldn’t express an opinion at all.

‘It’s a big decision,’ he added.

‘Yeah, phew! Huge!’ Aaron blew out air from his lips and stretched his eyes. ‘You think I should say yes, then?’

‘I didn’t say that.’

‘So, you think I should say no?’

Robert’s eyes slid away. His heart was hammering. He raised a hand and pressed it against his chest, trying to silence it.

It was Aaron, _only_ Aaron, that mattered.

‘I think, you should make your decision yourself, without reference to what anyone else says or thinks.’

Another silence, then Aaron nodded.

‘Wow! Thanks.’

‘I’ll go. Give you some space.’

He reached for the door handle a second time.

‘Robert! Wait!’

When he swung round again, Aaron stepped right up to him, tugging a hand at the sleeve of his shirt, his face half turned. Robert opened his eyes wide, startled for a moment, then pulled him into the hug. When he folded Aaron into his arms, he could feel the rise and fall of his chest, and his own stupid heart.

‘What if I get this wrong?’ Aaron’s chin was on his shoulder.

‘You won’t, just be happy. And I’ll be here to support you. I’m not going anywhere, right?’

When they pulled apart, Aaron wiped his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

‘Err, what happened to your shirt?’

Robert looked down, the still damp red stain spread over his heart, his shirt sacrificed to a higher cause.

‘I spilt wine. That’s why I was in here.’ He gestured to the washbasin, then pulled in his chin, looking down. ‘Trying to rescue it.’

‘Right. And instead you ended up rescuing me. Sorry.’

‘It doesn’t matter.’ Robert cracked a smile. ‘Glad if I can help.’

‘I’d better go, Alex’ll think I’ve done a runner.’

After he’d gone, Robert decided to wait five minutes, staring as another rose petal fell above the washbasin.

 

When he came out it was all over.

Somehow the Emmerdale singles had spotted Aaron and Alex, and there was the sound of scattered applause, laughter, the flash of cameras reflecting off a confetti of sparkling hearts, pictures ready to be uploaded, already celebrating the happy news.

He hung back.

Aaron face came in and out of view as people moved in front of him and moved away. His eyes were lowered, but Robert could see the smile he was hiding.

Then Alex’s hand was moving around his waist, as Aaron raised his mouth towards him, Robert turned and stepped out into the night.

 

‘This is you not being a morning person, isn’t it? Please tell me that that’s what this is?’

The ring was on the empty kitchen table, an arm’s length away from where Aaron was sat.

Strictly speaking it wasn’t even morning yet, still dark outside, but maybe to someone used to working shifts with the nhs, and Aaron had been sitting there a long, long time.

‘I wondered where you were. Doesn’t it fit? Do I need to get it altered?’

‘No, it fits, but, it doesn’t fit me. Alex, last night, I thought it was right, but I was wrong. I should never have accepted. I’ve made a complete mess of this.’

Alex sat quickly, took Aaron’s hand with both his own.

‘It was too soon. I knew it. I’ve not had a proper relationship like this before, you know? It felt right, I got carried away, but I was wrong, so we’ll go back to the way we were, we can wait, as long as it takes.’

Aaron closed his eyes.

‘Listen, you’re such a good bloke, but, however long we wait, this isn’t going to happen.’

‘No, no, Aaron. You wouldn’t do this, not _you_! You wouldn’t put me through this!’

‘I’m not perfect like you think, Alex, far from it. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. This is over.’

 

He’d taken Seb to spend time with Rebecca in the morning, leaving when she got tired, and then he’d rocked him to sleep on his shoulder, while Vic made them both a bite to eat.

Then there’d been a knock at the door, so he’d balanced Seb carefully, and answered it with half a sandwich in his hand, his mouth still full.

When he saw Aaron, he stopped chewing mid mouthful. He opened the door wider to let him in, and watched his back with a sudden frown as he marched into the living room, hands in the pockets of his hoodie. When Aaron turned his eyes were stormy. Robert finished his mouthful, and swallowed, bent awkwardly sideways, abandoning his sandwich on its plate.

‘Aaron!’ Vic said, appearing from the kitchen. But even she stopped in her tracks when she saw his face. She looked from him to her brother and back again as they stared at each other in silence.  ‘Right, then, just let me take this one, and we’ll both be out of your way.’

Robert handed Seb to her carefully, keeping his eyes fixed on Aaron, and she lowered him into the pram.

‘Call me.’ Was all she said as she closed the door behind her.

 

‘What have I done?’ Robert opened his hands, resigned. He must have done something, right?

‘You took your ring off!’

Robert blinked, trying to get his head round Aaron’s fierce indignation. It didn’t make any sense.

‘I took it off weeks ago, have you only just noticed?’

‘Why? Why did you take it off?’

‘What do you mean, why? I was letting you go. It was what you wanted. What I wanted, when I saw it was necessary. You were moving on with Alex, I didn’t want you to feel I was pulling you back. And it worked, you got engaged! It would be a bit odd with two men wearing your ring, right?’

‘So, you don’t love me?’

‘Course I do!’ Robert stammered, ‘...as, as a friend.’ His voice trailed off.

‘Fine.’

Aaron started to walk back towards the front door, but Robert wasn’t going to let that happen, not this time. He caught him by the elbow.

‘Talk to me! What’s going on?’

Aaron closed his eyes, biting his bottom lip, then drew in a deep rolling breath.

‘I still love you.’

‘Yes, as a friend. We’ve already established that.’

Aaron shook his head slowly.

‘No, I’m still in love with you. And I think you feel the same.’

Robert’s eyes dilated, and suddenly he was shaking, and Aaron was holding his arm, looking at him apologetically. It was a terrible thing to say. They both knew it. He shook him off and stepped backwards.

‘You’re wrong. You’re confused. You love Alex. You’re going to marry Alex.’

‘I’m not.’

‘You got engaged. I was there, remember!’

‘I called it off, I sat up all night, and then I called it off this morning.’

And that was the point where Robert’s body fell apart, Aaron reached out trying to stop the fall, but Robert pushed him away. It was like watching someone in the ring, he knew so well how it felt, that left hook coming out of nowhere, the one from your blind spot, shaking you up so hard that there’s time out of time, where you forget your own name, forget everything except learning to breathe again.

Robert fell back against the wall, his hand up over his eyes like a shield.

‘Rob…’

‘No, I…think, I need you to go…’

And then the explosion of air as he tried to stop the first sob from breaking, and he slid down the wall, hand in his hair, landing all knees and elbows on the floor.

It was just like he’d predicted at Christmas, as if he’d been holding it in, all these weeks.

‘Robert!’

He’d raised a hand, warning him against coming closer, but Aaron hunkered down near him.

‘I thought it was right, it looked right, it looked perfect, but deep down, I knew it was wrong.’

Robert nodded, his eyes scrunched tight, trying to halt the sobs still fighting their way from his throat.

‘Because I didn’t love him, not enough, not like us. Not like the way that I feel about you, it didn’t come close.’

Gradually Robert started to calm down, still shying away from meeting Aaron’s eyes.

‘Can I sit?’ Aaron asked gently, gesturing at the space beside him.

Robert nodded, wiping his face with the back of his hand. Aaron twisted round, until he had his back against the wall next to Robert, their shoulders flush against each other.

Robert rested his head back against the wall.

‘How did you know I was faking it, the whole friendship thing?’

‘I think it’s like my Mum says, isn’t it? You can’t kid a kidder? But you weren’t faking it, not really,’ Aaron turned to look at Robert’s profile. ‘…yesterday, you were amazing, you put me first, and okay, I got it wrong, but I got it wrong by myself. And then I fixed it by myself. And you let that happen. I mean, I hope we can always be friends, I need that.’

Robert slanted his eyes sideways at Aaron’s face.

‘Nothing more?’

And then he held his breath. Aaron suddenly shifted up and twisted round towards him, reaching a hand to hold the material on the shoulder of his shirt. He looked into his eyes and then at his mouth, his heart rocketing, and Aaron raised his chin and kissed him.

It was the lightest bumping of soft lips against lips, then Robert afraid of his feelings, pulling back, Aaron chasing him with his mouth for more, curling his fingers tighter around his shirt to stop him escaping. He moved into a more deliberate kiss, tugging at the soft cushion of Robert’s lower lip, then pressing harder, tilting his head until he heard the small hitch in Robert’s throat, and Robert’s hand finally came up and cupped his cheek, his thumb strumming over his cheek bone.

Their tongues met hesitantly, then less hesitantly. Robert shifted his shoulder blades against the smooth matt wall behind them as their mouths circled, and all at once they were teeth and spit, shivers coursing down Aaron’s spine, heat crawling through his body, back to the start, to the back seat of a second hand second rate motor on a dark afternoon in Cain’s garage.

He needed to rein it in, or before he knew it they’d be falling into bed, and he wasn’t anywhere near ready for where that might lead them. So, he pulled away suddenly, head back against the wall, eyes up, looking at the ceiling, his turn to learn how to breathe.

Robert’s phone vibrated on the table. It would be Vic.

They were crashing back to earth, to reality. To the long list of reasons why this was never going to work. Aaron could see it in Robert’s eyes.

‘Seb. He’s not going to go away.’

‘I’d never want that. He’s a beautiful part of you. The problem was never that, it was us.  We both know that, that was why we had to end it.’

‘So, what happens now?’

Aaron fished in the inside pocket of his hoodie, and pulled something out. It was a watch – Robert’s watch. Robert eyed it sideways with a frown.

‘You’ve got it?’

‘I had it all along, but I’m not giving it back.’ He turned it in his hand, and twitched his nose, ‘… not yet, anyway.’

‘Proving your credentials as a Dingle?’

‘Something like that.’ He laughed. ‘I err, I just, I need a bit more time Robert.’

Aaron put the watch back in his pocket, and Robert smiled softly back at him.

‘Fair enough. I can wait.’


End file.
